When it comes to women, a particular mentality is very clearly dominant in Asia. However, since I technically come from one country, I'll hold off on generalisation and speak only with context to that one — India.
Feminism has been a stimulating topic, more so in the recent past, and although there's a sense of comparatively more awareness than before, far too much is yet to be achieved. My blood boils every time I come across an Indian male who has stringent ideas about what's "girlfriend material" and what's "wife material". They divide women into these black-and-white categories, that actually reflect their restricted thinking. Yet, they believe themselves to be modern. And maybe they are, if modernity only means dressing in a Westernised manner, being well-versed in Western languages, driving a foreign car and being able to drink or go out to clubs. Modernity isn't the same as Westernisation, and it definitely isn't the same as broad-mindedness (really, look them up). What's worse is that these people belong to my generation, that is supposedly better educated and more aware in comparison to older generations. It's a shame, really.
I have lost respect for some of my own acquaintances because in their heads, a girl is either labelled "a good girl" or a "slut". For them, any girl who's openly vocal, enjoys a drink, is better at her career than cooking, cleaning or sewing, wears well-fitted dresses and short skirts is subconsciously labelled a girl with a "loose" character. This girl could have the cleanest record of them all, but to the average Indian male, it's impossible for such a girl to have not had a string of boyfriends. It's a concept that's beyond their comprehension and almost feels as if their brains lack the elasticity to accommodate a new viewpoint. The actual problem is that these men use their words too "loosely", in my opinion. And oh, this is the girl they can have fun with, before their equally hypocritical parents tie them off with a boring, saree-clad man-worshipper, who will cook for them everyday. Indian men are entitled to one-night stands, of course, but they want to marry a "pure", untouched virgin.
Of course, a girl who dresses conservatively, knows how to prepare every possible recipe of daal and aloo-gobhi, spends her time blowing up her father's money instead of working and earning a living herself is of a strong character. Now, the fact that this girl secretly sneaks off for a weekend away with her boyfriend in another city is unbelievable. How is that even possible? She seems so... safe. In other words, less of a threat to the massive Indian male ego.
Bollywood isn't the ideal source to look at for examples in support of broad-minded women, but some of the newer flicks challenge old ideas — thanks to younger directors and script writers who have travelled the world, and had a broader view on life in general. Here's a scene from a fairly recent Bollywood film that endorses what I'm trying to convey:
If only a character like Imran Khan's was common in real life.
I'm not saying that all Asian or Indian men think in a narrow-minded way (I do have some very respectable well-bred male friends). But the ones that do definitely outnumber the rare broad-minded ones. It's very convenient for them to overlook their weakness of character, when they try their best to flirt and get a girl to go out with them, and then hold it against the girl for having responded positively to their advances. 'How could she agree? If she was virtuous, she would only be with a guy she knew would marry her. I want to get to know her completely before I can marry her. But what if she isn't marriage material?' Well, in that case, these men have no right to even try hitting on a girl. They should let their parents do all the work for them. Opt for a setting that corresponds to evaluating a candidate for a job, where all they need to know is how the girl dresses, whether she can cook, and how many siblings she has. Of course, arranged marriages are all about "getting to know someone before you commit to them".
This repulsive mentality can only change when girls themselves refuse to accept it. Such men need to know that it is very much possible for a girl to reject them, or not want to marry them. A formal education and daddy's money don't make for an ideal life partner. If that's the way you think, are you husband material? Most certainly not.
Feminism has been a stimulating topic, more so in the recent past, and although there's a sense of comparatively more awareness than before, far too much is yet to be achieved. My blood boils every time I come across an Indian male who has stringent ideas about what's "girlfriend material" and what's "wife material". They divide women into these black-and-white categories, that actually reflect their restricted thinking. Yet, they believe themselves to be modern. And maybe they are, if modernity only means dressing in a Westernised manner, being well-versed in Western languages, driving a foreign car and being able to drink or go out to clubs. Modernity isn't the same as Westernisation, and it definitely isn't the same as broad-mindedness (really, look them up). What's worse is that these people belong to my generation, that is supposedly better educated and more aware in comparison to older generations. It's a shame, really.
I have lost respect for some of my own acquaintances because in their heads, a girl is either labelled "a good girl" or a "slut". For them, any girl who's openly vocal, enjoys a drink, is better at her career than cooking, cleaning or sewing, wears well-fitted dresses and short skirts is subconsciously labelled a girl with a "loose" character. This girl could have the cleanest record of them all, but to the average Indian male, it's impossible for such a girl to have not had a string of boyfriends. It's a concept that's beyond their comprehension and almost feels as if their brains lack the elasticity to accommodate a new viewpoint. The actual problem is that these men use their words too "loosely", in my opinion. And oh, this is the girl they can have fun with, before their equally hypocritical parents tie them off with a boring, saree-clad man-worshipper, who will cook for them everyday. Indian men are entitled to one-night stands, of course, but they want to marry a "pure", untouched virgin.
Of course, a girl who dresses conservatively, knows how to prepare every possible recipe of daal and aloo-gobhi, spends her time blowing up her father's money instead of working and earning a living herself is of a strong character. Now, the fact that this girl secretly sneaks off for a weekend away with her boyfriend in another city is unbelievable. How is that even possible? She seems so... safe. In other words, less of a threat to the massive Indian male ego.
Bollywood isn't the ideal source to look at for examples in support of broad-minded women, but some of the newer flicks challenge old ideas — thanks to younger directors and script writers who have travelled the world, and had a broader view on life in general. Here's a scene from a fairly recent Bollywood film that endorses what I'm trying to convey:
If only a character like Imran Khan's was common in real life.
I'm not saying that all Asian or Indian men think in a narrow-minded way (I do have some very respectable well-bred male friends). But the ones that do definitely outnumber the rare broad-minded ones. It's very convenient for them to overlook their weakness of character, when they try their best to flirt and get a girl to go out with them, and then hold it against the girl for having responded positively to their advances. 'How could she agree? If she was virtuous, she would only be with a guy she knew would marry her. I want to get to know her completely before I can marry her. But what if she isn't marriage material?' Well, in that case, these men have no right to even try hitting on a girl. They should let their parents do all the work for them. Opt for a setting that corresponds to evaluating a candidate for a job, where all they need to know is how the girl dresses, whether she can cook, and how many siblings she has. Of course, arranged marriages are all about "getting to know someone before you commit to them".
This repulsive mentality can only change when girls themselves refuse to accept it. Such men need to know that it is very much possible for a girl to reject them, or not want to marry them. A formal education and daddy's money don't make for an ideal life partner. If that's the way you think, are you husband material? Most certainly not.
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