"I think men have convinced women that support isn’t being given if they’re correcting us. We’ve convinced them that they only way to support us is to stand by us “no matter what”. For a lot of men, that “no matter what” means no questioning whether or not we’ve done wrong. Men often turn relationships into a parent/child situation for a woman. They put women in that same position that they’re often in with their children where they have to show disappointment in the actions and come back later and explain why disappointment actually is support.
I’ve often tried to explain to family members and friends the wrong in unconditional support. We often hear the words “unconditional support” and think that means that whatever you do, if someone supports you, they should stand with you. It’s often confused with unconditional love.
Unconditional love suggests that I love you, no matter what the circumstances are. However, if you unconditionally support someone, you may be doing them a disservice. Some things shouldn’t have our support attached to them because it may hurt the person doing it or it may hurt others. These are things that we shouldn’t support. The love can remain, but the support can’t. At times, this is the difference between someone changing their ways and continuing on in destructive behavior. If a woman loves you, she has to love you enough to tell you when you’re wrong. Her support needs to be connected to her willingness to speak out when you’re wrong.
When a man hears those words of unconditional love and support from his woman, he must resist the urge to run wild because he knows she’ll be there. He must resist the urge to turn his blessing into a curse for the woman. It doesn’t mean that men get unlimited chances to embarrass a woman or break her heart. It means that when you do screw up, she wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. She wants to believe it was a mistake. She wants to believe that you’ll make it right. She wants to believe that you’re worth her putting her love, her emotions and sometimes, her reputation on the line. You can’t screw that up by playing with fire. Every woman has a breaking point and sooner or later, you’ll get burned."
No, unconditional love doesn't mean loving you even when you're a prick. Anything that intentionally causes pain is not love — it's abuse.
No, unconditional love doesn't mean loving you even when you're a prick. Anything that intentionally causes pain is not love — it's abuse.
Read the full article here: http://www.examiner.com/article/men-will-often-test-a-woman-s-unconditional-love-and-support
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